It gets so so tiring just sitting back and watching someone raking advantage of your making you their second choice. Even though they are ALWAYS your number one choice. You'll never be their first choice. Ever.  But you continue making them yours in the hope they change.
I know he never will and I know it's always going to be this way but if it were any other way, he wouldn't be the man I fell in love with 442 days ago, would he?

Realising that the person who makes you happiest, is happier themself when you're not around them.
I feel like I'm going to regret this. 

.

I'd fucking love someone to want me. To miss me when I'm not chatting to them or haven't seen them in in a few days. Someone that will phone me just to tell me they miss me or miss talking to me.
I'd love for someone to pour their heart and soul into our relationship and tell me all the time how they feel about me. Someone who doesn't ignore me for hours on end when they're with other people. Who include me in their day snd tell me all the time what they're doing and how great their day is. I'd love someone to sweep me off my feet and show up at my door with flowers and a cinema ticket and take me away for a few hours without even asking if I'm free first.
I'd fucking love to be someone's number one priority and to be cherished and treated like I matter. Because I fucking matter. And I deserve to be treated like I do.